This Moment with Jeff Foster

THIS MOMENT, FRIEND, THIS MOMENT

This is for anyone who is going through a crisis, big or small.

Friend, I know that sometimes it feels like everything's falling apart, and even the most beautiful spiritual words sound like bullshit, meaningless, flowery, new-age drivel. We lose everything we thought defined us, or made us happy, everything that seemed to matter to us, and it feels like we will never recover. We are left in total despair, disappointment, disillusionment. It seems like 'the end', with no hope of recovery.

Yet in life, there are no true endings, only transformations, new beginnings emerging from rubble. Old dreams dying, the false falling away, which can be excruciatingly painful, of course, of course! Destruction, breakdowns, disruptions, shocks and losses, often feel like enemies, but always contain seeds of the new, and sometimes it just takes time to recover. This devastation you are going through, this crucifixion of dreams you feel, is an opportunity to let go of EVERY SINGLE IDEA you've ever had of how your life was "supposed to be", all those cherished dreams that were simply false, yet beautiful and useful at the same time.

The invitation today is to be present to your life, to wake up to it, to turn towards this immediacy, to dignify what is actually happening where you are. If there is loneliness visiting you here and now, do not turn away. If there is fear, do not push it away or try to escape. If there is frustration, anxiety, or just a quiet sense of hopelessness moving in you, do not reject these energies. They just want to be felt, now. They are not wrong. They are your lost children, orphans of awakening, and just want to move and be felt. Sometimes life brings us to our knees so that we will FEEL everything we've been running away from all our lives. And yes, the 'meeting' may hurt. But perhaps feeling the hurt is the beginning of healing, not the ending of it.

And watch the mind. How it constantly spins, rewinds and fast-forwards, constantly leaves the present scene of your life, here and now. Thought is constantly running away from the present moment. It goes into memory - of how good things were before, of how wonderful your life used to be. And it longs to return there. And it feels unable to. And despair results. Regret. Longing. Homesickness. And it fast-forwards into the future, imagining all kinds of future scenarios, many dark and scary. It takes you into regions way beyond your control. And both movements into past and future disconnect you from where you are NOW, which is all there is. They take you away from your only point of power - this moment.

But this moment is all there is. This breath. These sensations. Present sounds, smells. Present beating of the heart, the feeling of your butt on the chair. A little bird singing on the tree outside. The buzz of the television over there. A feeling of contraction in the chest, tenderness in the throat. This is a call to radical, radical simplicity. To honouring the not-knowing. To admitting humility in the face of life. Without the story of past and future, can you really know that your life has 'gone wrong'? For that is the belief at the core of everything, isn't it? That your life has 'gone wrong'. That the 'me' has failed somehow. That the universe is cruel and somehow against you. It's an intelligent conclusion to make, yes. I won't judge you for it. But perhaps it's not the truth. Perhaps the mind doesn't know.

My friend, your disillusionment, your inability to believe all those spiritual teachings now, including my own, is not a mistake - it is pure intelligence at work! Your disillusionment is part of waking up, not the end of waking up! This is all an invitation to a deeper awakening than you ever thought possible. You are being forced to question everything - everything - including all those cherished spiritual teachings that once held so much value. You are being called to find your own authority, to let go of all those bullshit ideas about what 'a good life' means. You are being invited to let go of everything second-hand, everything old, everything received - from parents, teachers, gurus - everything in memory, and be present to life, raw and naked.

Sometimes we have to lose everything to remember our total humility, to remember that we are not in control, and that each moment is full of wonder and thrilling uncertainty. You are on a path of devastation now - it was exactly what Jesus was teaching. This is not the end for you - it is the beginning of a new and different life, a new way of moving in the world, however hard that is to see. It is a time of renewal, of slowing-down, of discovering the abundance contained within the nothingness. A time to be kinder to yourself. There is so much potential for you, friend, even if you cannot believe that.

There have been many times in my own life when I felt unable to go on, unable to stand. I felt that I had lost everything, that nothing was possible, that the void was the only life. But I just didn't know what the universe had in store.

Even though you feel lonely and abandoned, frightened and angry, friend, know that many others are walking with you, and many others understand. You will write your own book of transformation one day.

This moment, friend. THIS moment.

- Jeff Foster

Inspiration with Jeff Foster

FOR A FRIEND

"Friend, I know your heart is broken, I know the future seems unclear to you, I know you feel the absence of answers right now, I know you feel a terrible longing for something you cannot name.

But let's begin where we are. Let’s not focus on the thousands of steps that will come on the path, but the place where we stand on the path right now. And there is only now.

Know that many others have gone through what you are going through, and remember that sometimes it seems darkest before the dawn. But instead of longing for the dawn, and rejecting the darkness, let us touch the dark parts with gentleness; let us shine our light there. Let us meet what is present, not rush towards what is not yet present. For even the darkest cave may contain treasure, and even the most intense and uncomfortable feelings may actually contain strange medicine.

Walk your path courageously, friend, and know that loved ones walk with you."

A CONVERSATION WITH LONELINESS

"I feel lonely."
"Wonderful. An invitation to get intimate with loneliness.”
“What do you mean?”
“Try this. Drop the word 'loneliness' for a moment. Feel the raw sensations directly in the body. Where do you feel them? Feel the prickles, the tickles, the vibrations…"
"In my stomach. Like a lonely, empty feeling..."
"Great. So now drop the words ‘lonely’ and 'empty'. Connect with what's actually here without those second-hand descriptions”.
"Okay. It feels................. alive. Tingly. Warm."
"Yes. Good. Stay with it."
"It feels soft. Tender. Vulnerable. It feels like... life."
"Good. Let's stay there awhile. Let's give these sensations the gift of kind attention, without trying to change or delete them. Allow all thoughts and images, all judgements and stories, to come and go as well, in your warm presence. Let them float like clouds in the sky. What else do you notice where you are. You can place your hand on the part of you that feels lonely, if you like..."
[Places hands on stomach]
"It's strange. As I give it attention, the tightness is easing. There's more room around the lonely feeling. Like it's held by something... something large, spacious…"
"Does that sense of spaciousness itself feel lonely?"
"No. It feels... intimate. Open. Alive. Not lonely. I feel like I can breathe..."

When we stop distracting ourselves, and courageously dive into the heart of any feeling, positive or negative, right or wrong, comfortable or uncomfortable, we rediscover the vast ocean of who we are. Every feeling is made of unspeakable intelligence, and every feeling contains a hidden message.

- Jeff Foster

Memory Versus Past

Memories are different from the actual past.

Memories can be altered, get corrupted, they are mere recordings.

The real past is nothing but MYSTICAL. You can relax now.

Memory

“We can form a memory, erase that memory and we can reactivate it, at will, by applying a stimulus that selectively strengthens or weakens synaptic connections,” study senior researcher Dr. Roberto Malinow, a professor of neurosciences said in a university press release.

Overcoming Disorientation - it's all happening on its own

Have you ever gotton the feeling that life is on autopilot? That you are not doing things but things are happening on their own?

If yes, you are at the right place.....